Snusmumriken

The world is a confusing place. One week ago. I’m sure it was a week ago, I was out drinking beer with random people at the pub. It was a nice evening, and as I walked home, I had this nice, fuzzy feeling in my tummy. When I walked home, I noted that the moon was a narrow narrow sickle. It thought it was pretty, and looked at it while I walked home.

Last night when I was on my way home from my yoga lesson, happy because I had been standing on my head and hands for the first time in my life, and in some sort of a relaxed trance because of all the yogaing, I noticed that it was almost full. Or.. you know… gibbous.

It had skipped a week. How can the moon skip a week? It’s very very confusing.

And btw. I still want these shoes. They look like shoes one has when one is little. Where can I find them?

(If you haven’t seen the films “The breakfast club” and “Ratatouille”, there are some spoilers. Picked them because they are good examples, and because they are films “everyone” has seen)

This is not me being one of those artsy, voluntarily depressed types, - rather it’s me being a bit hard to fool. I can’t go from arguing with someone, to becoming friends with them, have a cosy chat and a cup of tea ten minutes later. I don’t work like that. And if someone yell at me, I will remain a) sad and guilt ridden for days, if I felt they had a reason for yelling. Or b) Be angry and annoyed for days, if the yelling was uncalled for. My mood don’t change that quickly. My character don’t change that quickly either, and judging from experiences, that goes for other people aswell. Mean and selfish people don’t stop being mean and selfish in an hour. There aren’t any lightbulb moments where they suddenly realise the error of their ways, and suddenly become nice and fluffy. If they say “I can change”, they most probably can’t.

Take for instance the film “Ratatouille”. In theory it should be my favourite film ever. I like rats. I like cooking. Set in France, and with more than a touch of the american dream it actually should be the perfect companion for a rainy afternoon. And I watched it and was happy and all furry inside until the film reached it’s negative climax 2/3 into the film, and the little rat’s human friend took all the honor for the little rat’s work. And the little rat’s face showed the kind of disappointment that includes a whole world falling apart. They reached the ideal happy ending 30 minutes after that. Did it feel cramped? Oh yes. Did it seem reasonable that the big human friend got all nice again, after being mean and bigheaded 30 minutes earlier? No way. Saying you’re sorry don’t make you a nice person. Still hanging with the bad person doesn’t make a happy ending.

And what about “the breakfast club”. It’s slower than ratatoulle allright, - the film actually stops just before the negative climax happens, but it’s luring somewhere in the shadows. The concept is gathering people who, - partly because of personality, but also because of high-school structures don’t get along. The viewer knows that the characters are all going to become friends sometime in the course of the film, but in a wider context it’s really improbable that it’s going to last. And it happens. They bond. They become friends. And when facing the society again, they swear to always be friends. And protect eachother. After knowing eachother for a few hours. The ending is fluffy and sweet, and gives me this rancid aftertaste. Cause the negative climax is coming. Within a week. Some of them will handle the fall, and some will fall badly. Three hours on a Saturday morning can’t fight a life full of impressions. Saying sorry don’t make you a nice person. Returning to the world and all it’s mean structures doesn’t make a happy ending.

I guess the people who call me a pessimist has a point. But it happens rather often that we go out of the cinema, - me stating that it’s the most tragic tale of all time. The other people saying that the film was “almost too happy”.

(where i guess i could have used my fathers nor in the sofa-computer…)

I’m babysitting my part-time-siblings in Fredrikstad, and they are sleeping. It’s a Saturday night, and I really don’t want to work, so I tried to find something funnier. “The internet!” I thought. “The internet has all kinds of fun things!“

I’ve been trying to guess my way into the family wireless connection for an hour. I should give up, but every ten minutes my mind flash back onto “I should ask my fellow Maskerade-players about our relationships” (interlude where I try to find the secret internet code, and where I fail.) I give up, I start reading about guilds and male bonding in early modern europe, and suddenly think that “I should check if they have that book about early modern masculinity in the library” (interlude where I try to find the secret internet code, and where I fail.) I derail, and think I should do yoga “I wonder how the downloading of the crappy yoga videos are going” I ask myself: (interlude where I try to find the secret internet code, and where I fail.)

I’ve been trying to guess my way into “Speider” (boyscouts), “Bandidos-fredrikstad”, “hack-net” and “Rwanda”. What kind of world is this, where hack-net is unhackable and bandidos have an awsome internet connection that’s for bandidos members only?

Nevermind all the times it’s stopped working. Of course that too is bloody annoying, but the worst part is how sensitive windows vista is. I tried to amend it by installing xp, but the harddisk actually broke after a day or so, and I gave it up. Everytime i’ve installed programs that require restarting of the computer, makes the computer go completely insane. As a result, I have no iso reader, for instance, which makes it remarkable hard to download computer games.

Today one of my classmates had uploaded a textfile in an unknown file format. I downloaded open office, hoping that would be able to read the file (it wasn’t). Of course, when I started the computer in class, it (as usual) refused to start, not even in security mode. It took half the lecture to actually be able to start the computer.

Although heavy; Although insane; Although completely without a battery; - the old computer was my friend. This one, however, is constantly trying to get the best of me.

Whenever I’m doing something big, i end up thinking i should write about it, but more often than not i end up postponing it and therefore ends up not writing anything at all. Therefore i’ve decided not to write about england, or finland, or easter holidays, the larps i’ve attended, the magazine we’re making, the exams that are coming, the work that i’m doing, the books i’ve read - or anything else. Use your imagination and i bet you’ll come up with something that’s as interesting as real life. Perhaps it will lead to me actually writing something in here.

Albeit a bit stressful, being back to my real everyday life is really nice. I always forget how nice blindern is when i’m away from it. I forget how empty and quiet the study hall is before nine in the morning, and how nice all the people are. I forget how hyper more than a litre of coffee a day makes me, and sometimes even how interesting my curriculum is.

I ended up ditching the yoga of tonight and rather went to the pub with some other people. I felt very healthy for drinking water all night, slightly less healthy for ditching the yoga, slightly messy for having left my wallet at work and for not having a phone, but at least having caught up with people i know, i know i’ll be efficient tomorrow.

I’m reading Jubel, which is lovely, and which makes everything feels a bit like an episode of twin peaks.

Since my last post, i’ve been to finland, and to england, and i’ve ben high and low doing loads of stuff that I’ve been either planning to write about later, or just pushing to the back of my head. I just came home from Solmukohta and Finland where i and Martine made a larp, and where I got all kinds of inspiration for stuff i don’t really have the time to do, but sorely want to. I might write better about it later on. The real reason why i’m updating, is to tell everyone that I can’t find my phone. It’s probably somewhere in the luggage, seeing as i had it on the plane, but if anyone needs to get hold of me, it’s probably easier if you contact me here, on facebook, on mail or skype or even call my neighbour, Mikael. I’ll get back in touch as soon as i manage to.